负面心情:恐惧


人是有性情的动物,会受到周遭的因素而影响心情。接着就因心情,而做出不一样的决定。因此,一个人的行为举止,会随着心情而变化。好心情,自然人自信些,逍遥些,快乐些。而负面的心情,则非常糟糕,因为它会带来一连串的负面效果。

负面的心情,会让人做事没自信,不敢迈步前进,不敢做出重要的决定。甚至呼吸急促、手脚冰冷冒汗、心不在焉、心跳加速、血压上升、紧张、压力、烦躁、恐惧、焦虑。

一个人开始有负面心情时,就会对周遭的人作出负面的举动。这样,身边的人也就会开始有些负面的心情。

负面心情的由来有很多。可以是因为自己的过错而害怕被责骂,如小孩弄坏了东西,曾经被父母严厉地责骂过,他就会在犯类似的错误时,感到非常恐惧。

也可以是过于责任感。有责任感是好事,但有些是能力范围以外,无法掌握的因素。如身边的人因自己一时的疏忽,导致了一些意外。这样,当相关的事情发生的时候,就开始感到恐惧。

还有一种负面心情的来由是非常无可奈何的。与责任感类似,但是不可避免的,即家庭负担。如一个人,家有老母要奉养,妻子瘫痪,孩子年幼,收入微薄,景气不好。这是最悲伤的情况。奉养父母是天经地义,不养则不孝。父母把你养大,难道可以忘记父母恩?妻子是终身伴侣,对方有任何不幸,都不可离弃,照顾对方一生,这就是婚姻的承诺,可说是婚姻的盟约。自己的小孩,没有能力自我照料,当然就是父亲应当照顾。虎毒不食子。难道有抛弃孩子的理由?若在这些状况下,加上收入微薄,身边的所谓友人又都是无情之人,一日三餐不饱,这种生活,不是一个人能够承受的。

也许你说,这样的人若没有朋友,那必定是此人的人缘不好。但我说,现今的社会,多以貌取人,你有很穷的朋友吗?你的朋友很穷,你会帮他吗?这就是现今社会的问题,人越来越冷漠无情。别说骗子也越来越多。主要原因是,因为别人都无情,所以我也无情。

说回负面心情。其实,负面心情是可以透过心理治疗而医治的。很简单的一种想法,当你喜欢的人骂你的时候,是否你心情糟透了?但若是一个你不认识的人,用外语咒骂你,你是不是没什么感觉?甚至对方用你听得懂的语言来骂你,你也觉得没什么大不了的。这就是语言的厉害。有时说者无意,听着有心。你无意的一句话,伤了一个有心人。

继续说回治疗。同样,你若能用另一种心态,积极的心态去面对,负面的心情就会好转。当然并不是完全好转。可以尝试问自己,究竟害怕什么?是否害怕那不可知的因果?是否害怕爱人离弃或嫌弃?是否害怕在意的人会伤心?是否害怕死亡?是否害怕痛苦,皮肉的疼痛?是否害怕下地狱?(当然害怕下地狱不是坏事。)尝试认清自己所害怕的东西。如果不知道,那就继续沉思下去。因为当你用理智思考的时候,你的情绪就会稍微得到控制。

当你渐渐明白了你所害怕的因,如人、事、物,那你就可以尽量避开不必要的接触。但这只是避开,不属于治疗。

当你认清了自己最害怕的东西时(也许是一段痛苦的回忆),这时你能靠心理治疗师帮你治疗。(天主教徒则可以用圣体治疗。)当你能够转换另一种心态面对那自己最害怕的东西,你就能不为之所动。就能够行云流水,所向披靡。

说回刚才的那种家有老幼,妻子瘫痪,收入微薄,这种压力不是属于心灵创伤的一种。祈祷虽然能让人快乐坚强,但不能解决问题的根本。因此我说,这不是一个人能够承担的。这样的人,是需要社会的关爱,国家的援助,教会的帮助。虽然这也解决不了问题的根本,但至少能够减轻问题的负担。虽然社会变得冷漠,但教会还是有的。同病相怜的人还是会遇上的。

人嘛,遇上最坏的状况是什么?家破人亡,病入膏肓,众叛亲离,一无所有,孤独终老?还是遭自己心爱的人恨得入骨?

恐惧惊慌的时候,就尝试想想愉快的事。因为当你想愉快的事时,就不会想着不愉快的事。所以,当你遇到愉快的事时,把它记下。因为它能陪你渡过一些痛苦的时期。当你遇到困难的时候,找人帮助。虽然被人拒绝很难过,但被拒绝并不会增加你的难关。得到帮助的时候,反而减轻你的难关。当你回忆起不愉快的过去,请用积极的态度面对,要知道归去如何不愉快,你今天都还活着。只要今天还活着,明天就还有希望。


资产


Take away my people, but leave my factories, and soon grass will grow on the factory floors. Take away my factories, but leave my people, and soon we will have a new and better factory.
(Andrew Carnegie, n.d.)

这是Andrew Carnegie说的,不是Dale Carnegie。这就是身为老板应当知道的。人是有性情的。他们虽然是公司的资产,但不是物品,不是说老了就丢,坏了就什么也不查清楚就把他换掉。他们不是机器人,不是老板说什么就应该做什么。他们不是神灯,帮老板实现愿望。他们不是神仙,可以未卜先知地知道老板要什么。

如果不明白这个道理,老板,你还是去务农好了。养养狗啊,狗很听话。养养猪啊,随时可以宰来吃。养养牛啊,牛可以耕田,帮你工作。但,你还是会遇到问题。因为你不懂如何饲养动物。恭喜你,你还是得请个奴才来工作。


文字


文字,是人类史上最伟大的发明。它是人类智慧的具体化。它是以绘画来做记录而开始,之后演变为文字。因为人类头脑的构造里天生就有着语言的区域(Broca’s area)。这也就是人类与其它动物有着极大差异的原因之一。

文字,正是传承智慧的主要媒介。通过文字,人类可以跨越时间的障碍,而认识到过去的人、事、物。

书写,更是人类认知能力的卓绝体现。书写包含了人类思考的语言化,之后由上(头)而下(手)地将语言转换成所认识的文字,并由手指的小动作,将相应的文字书写出来。这是一系列非常复杂的认知系统连贯在一起,形成了一种高等智慧的活动。书写是必须通过长期的训练才能够愈来愈通顺。

人类高科技带来了诸多方便,并且有效地提升了生产力(productivity),但却让人遗忘了人类文明史上的主要发明,即文字。这就像你会使用电脑,却不懂得使用计算机;你会使用计算机却不懂得加减乘除。科技是为了整体性的发展,而不应抑制个体的成长。

总结,做父母的,你们还不快阻止你们的孩子玩手机和平板电脑?我跟你说,玩有手柄(gamepad)的电玩都强过触屏的电玩。手柄的电玩需要头脑和手指动作之间的协调,并有人体工学(ergonomic)的设计。而触屏电玩,我只能说是不伦不类。

当然,这世上还有很多智慧和知识都只能会意,不能言传。既然不能言传,更不能文字化。如何会意?除非亲身体验,不然不可能知道。就如你没有吃过榴梿,无伦如何跟你形容榴梿的味道,你所想象的味道都不可能是真的榴梿味。


Abortion


(This article is for adult only, or with parental guide.)

I was subscribing a Youtube Channel, until I watched this video, then I unsubscribed it, because I feel sicked with the video and the commenters. The video is controversial, and it causes a lot of debates. So, basically there are two types of commenters: Pro-Life supporters and Pro-Choice supporters. Pro-Life disagrees the abortion, it should be illegal; Pro-Choice agrees that the mother has the choice to abortion, it should be legal.

Let me summarise the point of view who agree the abortion.

  1. A woman has the right to do whatever to her body.
  2. Men should shut up, because they are not women.
  3. The early stage of abortion is just removing “a clump of cells”.
  4. It is not a baby or human, so, it is not a murder.
  5. It doesn’t feel pain, because it had no nervous system. It doesn’t have feeling or thought either.
  6. Pro-Life supporters are hypocrite, because they don’t care about the children who are living in the poor, they don’t adopt them either.
  7. Pro-Life should be a vegan.

The followings are my answers.

    For the 1, the baby is an individual, not just the mother’s body, and it comes from the father too.

    For the 2, man is come from a father and a mother. A man will have a wife, who is a woman. A man will have a daughter too. So, even it is not man who goes for abortion, it is related to man as well.

    For the 3, the so called “clump of of cells” is human. As long as conception is happened, that is the sperm and the ovum come together, they form the zygote, and it is life. It is human. It has the full set of human DNA, half from the father and half from the mother.

    For the 4, refers to 3. It is a human.

    For the 5, it is too philosophical to debate. How do you know amoeba doesn’t feel pain? A living organism always wants to live, no matter it feels pain or not. And you don’t know whether it can think or feel. Because you will never know. This doesn’t justify that you can kill it, just because it doesn’t feel pain. If this reason is justified, meaning you can kill anyone with the reason that you think that he or she doesn’t feel pain.

    For the 6, I don’t know whether Pro-Life supporters are hypocrite or not. But the reason that the child will live in poor doesn’t justify you to abort the child. The child will not be adopted doesn’t justify the abortion too.

    For the 7, Pro-Life doesn’t mean to be vegan. We eat meat, but we don’t eat human flesh. We kill the animal, but we don’t kill human. You don’t compare a chicken or a cow to a human. A chicken or a cow will never call you dad or mum. A chicken or a cow will never say “I love you dad” or “I love you mum”.

    Masturbation is not killing life like abortion. (I don’t agree masturbation though.) Because the sperms are gametes which contain half of DNA set. The sperm will not grow to human by itself without the ovum.

    For the case of rape, it is gravely wrong in the first place. Though it is truly hard for the victim, the new life is still innocent.

    For the case of miscarriage, it is not a murder, because it happens unintentionally.

    Thus, abortion is unethical and immoral, because it is murdering. Even you are taught that a fetus is not a baby, you cannot deny that it is a life and it has human DNA. If you don’t want to have a child, then you just live in celibacy.

    Let’s say one day human can create robots that look like human (humanoid), when you kill it it will scream and beg like human. I believe that this is also murdering, because I cannot deny that it triggers my empathy and sympathy. But it doesn’t mean that destroying the electronic components are murdering, just because that they will become humanoid and destroying humanoid is murdering. Because electronic components are not zygotes, they are not living thing. But a humanoid that acts exactly like human, make it looks like living thing. The act of destroying it becomes murdering, and it is wrong. But creating the humanoid and make it looks like human exactly and can struggle to live like human is sickly wrong at the first place. (Hopefully this kind of stupid research will never success.)

    We should not legalise the abortion just because illegal abortion leads to unsafe abortion. It is similar to creating humanoid and enjoy destroying it because murdering a real human is illegal. This is truly sick. That is why designing perverted bloody violent computer game is evil. You don’t legalise the prostitution or polygamy just because the men are lustful. Because lustful man who seeks for the pleasure of flesh only is wrong in the first place.

    That is why, the research of human clone by fertilising the ovum with sperm then destroying them is evil. Because each fertilised ovum is a life. But if you accidentally destroy the fertilised ovum, because it is not visible by the human eye, though it is wrong, it is not evil, because it is destroyed unintentionally. But, if the cloning happens by taking your cell, not from the ovum and sperm, but your matured cell, then you destroy it before it develops into human, it is not evil. Again, if the technology is advanced that the cell can grow into human, as a real human, then destroying it becomes evil. You need not to ask when or which step that it should call human. You will know it. It looks like human, act like human, grow like human, die like human, then you know, it is human.

    Let’s say if the technology allow, you get a matured cell, not from ovum and sperm, and make it become zygote, then destroying it. It is evil, because you already define it as zygote. Because zygote is a life.

    Let’s say the technology allow, you can clone a human without ovum or sperm, it has full functions as a human, but it is not awake. Then you destroy it or just take the organs from it. It is wrongful to clone the human in the form like this. Destroying it or taking the organ from it is just another wrongful act.

    But, if you can clone the human organs, and use them, it is not evil. Because the organs themselves are not human. The organ like heart or lungs will not grow to a human by itself. It is different from the “clump of cells”, which will grow into a human.

    Agreeing abortion is denying life. You agree that your mother can abort you. You are denying your own existence. It is totally contradict. Because your opinion is not valuable anymore.

    You want to find the grey area, so that you can do evil, yet it is not written at anywhere that it is evil. Then someone tell you it is evil, you don’t admit it. And use a lot of reasons to justify it.

    No matter you disagree the clump of cells is human or not, you cannot deny it because it has human DNA and it will grow into human life. You abort it means you kill it.


    砂拉越首长


    我是个不会因为一个不认识的人离世而难过的人。但这位伟大的砂拉越首长,阿德南,他的离世是不能让我不惋惜的。

    虽然短短三年上任为砂首长,他的作为有目共睹。他可以让我勇敢地站起来,指着那些来压榨砂拉越子民的非砂州人,骂道:给我滚回去!(这是形容罢了,我没有这么做过。)

    阿德南让砂拉越变得很明确是一个怎样的州属。与西马有极度的差异。整个砂州呈现了阿德南本人的性格。一个种族和谐,不会叫华人滚回中国的州属。一个有绝对宗教自由的州属,“阿拉”字眼绝对不是课题。一个不会执行伊刑法的州属。一个伊班族、比达友族、马兰诺族等族群,不被列为“其他”的州属。一个并重国语及英语的州属。一个承认统考的州属。一个将政治课题减少到只注重民生问题的州属。

    一个政治家,就是为人民谋求利益。而不是制造课题,博取同情,博出名,或榨取其中的利益。有些脑残的政治家,就是喜欢制造课题,无中生有,喜欢弄得民不聊生。

    现在这位强悍的砂州领袖离世了。这也应该是砂州子民自己强悍起来的时刻了。而不应该只是一昧地期盼着领导人的带领。少年强则国家强。年青人,强悍起来吧!


    关于这篇旧闻的感想


    有篇新闻(旧闻)

    这是我见过天下最厉害的阿Q精神。大概全宇宙也不会再有第二个。史无前例,空前绝后。前无古人,后无来者。

    关于标题,

    The word bankrupt doesn’t exist in national economic dictionary

    我不得不佩服。一个国家的成败,一部字典就能决定。那这部字典堪称圣书也不为过。

    关于内容,

    “Is it cruel if the government is so concerned about the welfare of the people to the extent that we provide Urban Transformation Centre (UTC) which operates seven days a week from 8am to 10pm?

    “I want to ask, which government in the world provides such a service? […]

    这是奇葩(是奇葩,不是鸡*)的思想。我佩服到五体投地。

    我只能用一种比喻。这就像父母把钱花光了,然后到垃圾堆中捡了一些食物的渣滓给孩子吃,然后跟孩子说:“看我多么爱你,这世上哪有像我这样爱你的,可以亲自到垃圾堆中找食物给你吃?”我无法否认你的爱真伟大。

    无言以对。祸哉。


    日久生情


    人与人相处,日久见人心。人与人相处,日久生情。

    也许一开始,你跟某人相处时,天天斗嘴,嘴里说讨厌对方,但却沉醉于天天斗嘴的日子。而当对方离开后,你就觉得生命里,或日常里,少了样东西。其实讨厌,或厌恶,往往是从喜欢开始的。因为不喜欢,就不会去了解。不去了解,就不会看到缺点。就看到缺点,而开始厌恶。(而我个人是绝情型的,更正确的说,是理智型的。对不喜欢的人,我不会对他有任何不必要的留念。就当着是萍水相逢。何必为了他人影响自己的生活。)

    而在工作环境下,无论男女都应当拥有关于异性相吸的认知。一般人都会记得小学坐你旁边的异性同学。尤其是天天吵架斗嘴的。而在工作岗位上,这是更需要注意的。已婚男人,如果聘请了个年轻貌美的女秘书或私人助理,那是大忌中的大忌。哪个男人不贪新鲜?你跟她朝夕相对,肯定日久生情。

    因此,男女同事,尤其已婚,切忌天天单独用餐。血气方刚的年龄,一天到晚出双入对,朝夕相对,别跟我说你俩是清白的。清白的话,就别让人误会。这世上有种系统叫“平衡”。你的行为举止令人窃窃私语,那你就应当明白,问题出在谁身上?你别问我说,如果你行善而令人诽谤,就应当避免行善吗?你头脑有问题吗?各自已婚的男女一天到晚出双入对难道叫行善吗?那你去叫*难道是救济女性吗?那你去赌博难道是刺激经济吗?你去吸毒难道是善尽天然草药吗?你他妈的又不去回归尘土一切归于大自然化为花草的养分拯救世界?

    总结:别用“清者自清”当着你恣意妄为的借口;别用荷尔蒙作祟而正当化你自己的恶行;别说我犯了全天下男人都会犯的错。你自己不义,别把他人跟你相提并论。